From Lack of Communication...to Too Much

Well hello again! In my first blog about dating and relationships, I discussed how in most scenarios of today, couples do not speak enough. I'm sure its either happened to you in a relationship or it will eventually, but there is a contrast to that "lack of communication". You CAN have too much communication in a relationship and it could bore the hell out of you and/or your partner. Real talk, these days people got all these social networking profiles,phones, PDAs, and it just makes people that much more accessible. You see girls and guys in a relationship who actually talk to each other too much. Understand that when I say that, that I do place a high emphasis on speaking with one another because you never know when you could lose that one person, but you could also say too much to them. You don't want to be in a relationship where you literally have nothing to say to each other when you're in each other's presence because you texted them all day, do you? Your significant other has your twitter/myspace/facebook/skype/etc etc and you always seem to know what each other is doing, but you feel the need to talk 24/7? I've been there personally and it's not fun at all, awkward silences suck BIG time. For a relationship to succeed you have to maintain that balance of talking too much and too little, which is not hard to do, you just have to be consistent with it. Have you ever had those days where it felt like you had a cloud over your head and thought about calling or talking to your significant other for just a second to cheer yourself up? Well, think about applying it to your relationship. The opposite end of that is that you could have been talking to that significant other all day and they really didn't help that much, possibly adding onto the stress or not being of any help at all. Had you maintained that balance then you'd feel that much better talking to them at that *low point* so they can uplift your spirits right(unless you're just some big pessimistic individual lol)? You'd look forward to talking to them instead of dodging their texts/calls because we all know someone that dodges calls from their boyfriend or girlfriend haha. You'll hear people talking about "she won't leave me alone" or "he's always calling me!", funny right? Why are they saying that? It could be in large due to the fact that you may talk TOO much. Like seriously, why are you going to text ALL day and expect to have a full on conversation when you meet up? Okay, there are those exceptional instances where you're maybe traveling and assuring safety, but you really want to make those words stand out to each other. I mean let's be serious, you can't REALLY run out of things to say each other, but you can make your conversations that much more dull by speaking too often about nothing.. Do I seriously need to know what you're doing in the next 5seconds or tell you what time I'm going to be leaving the restroom? People, let's just try to maintain that balance and keep those words that you do speak to each other, special. Personally, I place more emphasis on words rather than physical presence because of that, making words THAT much more impacting to me, but that's another rant that I'll dive into at the next appointed time. ;) Until we meet again -- That Gentleman

Lack of Communication In Dating

What's up people, That Gentleman checking in once again to get a tiny rant off, well BIG rant off my chest. So, as I sit here listening to music, I'm just thinking about all of the relationships where communication is little to nonexistent. Too often, you see relationships that could be mended or ended mutually with the help of a LITTLE communication, but that's SO above people these days because they, "can have another you in a minute". That's a terrible line in the first place because it shows how much importance someone puts on their relationship, but i DIGRESS. Many relationships include people that have no clue as to where their significant other is emotionally and it's quite evident by their actions, only furthering the problem. When people look back on relationships, they always say, "I wish I would've told them how I felt", "I wish I could've said this (or that)".. Communication, once again.

My own personal story has many stops in it and the reason I kept it moving at each one of those stops was because of that "lack in communication", part of it even on my part. Yeah, I can give advice, but I can't take my own, the usual irony.. right?

People in today's society are so engaged in the physical part of a relationship, that it becomes the basis for their emotions and communication as a whole. Sex can be very detrimental to a relationship, but it can also be beneficial, IF in moderation... Isn't it funny how in so many relationships, they can have great sex, but can't speak openly about their emotions or even sex with each other?! SMH Today, sex is so over-abused that it's second nature to have sex then talk after haha, sounds usual right? But why does that seem so normal? That's because it has become socially acceptable to basically start a relationship based off a sexual encounter and I believe it is quite the tale of how our common male-female reactions work.Now I'm not saying that you can't enjoy sex, but if you sex then talk, you're going be bored out of your mind because you're moving in reverse..and a car always moves slower in reverse. You can't expect to have great sex and then have great convo, that only happens in our "perfect world", but if you have great convo, then great sex, then you really have something. Once again I'll reiterate this, SEX iS A BONUS, NOT A BASIS.

Men believe that there aren't any good women out there, who aren't whorish,kind of like an urban myth.. And women believe that there aren't any good men out there who won't treat them like another usual jumpoff or even be fun to kick it with. Funny but sad at the same time because there is hope out there, it's just not readily seen, due to that "lack in communication".

You want him to listen and he wants you to listen, but there's one problem, you both aren't voicing yourselves as you should be. Maybe you should take the time to sit and have a thorough conversation, just maybe. You may have been in a relationship and it ended suddenly off one misunderstanding, or it may not even have gotten there yet before it all came crashing down and your little bubble of love, burst right before your eyes. We must learn to listen to on a deeper level, not just hearing "blah blah blah," but the actual words that are spoken the fragile place, known as the heart.

So you think I'm saying that the answer to all your problems is communication, haha you and I can only wish, but it IS a beginning I assure you. I have plenty more to say, but I don't wanna be too lengthy so stay tuned. We all have a lot to learn and there's no instructions, only a script, write your own story.

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished.

- That Gentleman

Love, quite the feeling isn't it?

What's good everyone, I'm the Abstract but TRUE gentleman, that will be presenting you with relationship advice with the increased situational questions you provide. To me, LIFE is LOVE and LOVE is LIFE, simple but very true. When you have a blank canvas and you want to make the art yours, you put PASSION into it, letting the viewers see your true emotions. I was lucky, well unlucky enough if you will to have grown up in a house full of women, so I tend to be able to connect with females more than your average guy. It's not that hard at all, it just takes stepping out of the stereotypical ego driven man persona and allowing yourself to feel a woman through her emotions, not her body. The key to men understanding women and women understanding men is simply communication, which seems to happen a lot less these days, due to the maxed out hormones of our generation, but thats another story that I will continue on later! I look forward to providing you with helpful and easy tips that can boost your social skills with your dedicated effort through Life Has No Script. - That Gentleman